Bullying is a subject close to my heart and I was interested to hear of the accusations that had been flying around recently of bullying within the Prime Minister's offices. These of course had been hotly denied by Gordon Brown.
The problem is that bullying comes in many guises and is very difficult to define. A little like the concept of art, everyone knows what it is but people are hardpushed to come up with a definitive explanation.
Perhaps it is because bullying can occur for many reasons and in so many circumstances that it makes it just too wide ranging to pin down. However, its effects can be devastating and for this reason alone it needs to be exposed.
Another way of gaining a better understanding of bullying is by itemising some of its traits. For instance:
1. It has to be persistent enough to make the victim/s feel persecuted. The perpetrator/s will repeat their behaviour over and over again until its anticipation alone will have a negative effect on the victim/s.
2. The perpetrator/s will always try to justify their behaviour, no matter how outlandish it has become. This may be simply by lying.
3. To bully is a sign of weakness not of strength as is commonly perceived because the perpetrator is usually in a position of power over the victim.
4. The victim is not necessarily weak as is also commonly percieved but may in fact be very strong. By merely standing up for themselves or their ideals they may make themselves a target for the bully as a result.
I believe this to be a fair summary and consider myself to be reasonably informed.
Of the four points listed above, the first one is the most important. Bullying is a repeated act and it is mainly the effect of its repetition that causes the distress. For this reason alone, the perpetrators are very aware of what they are doing and with practice they can become very good at it. By contrast, the victim/s initially may often not be aware of their status and the negative effects on their self esteem may increase exponentially with each episode of bullying as the realisation dawns.
At its worse the effects may cause symptoms of post traumatic stress which can be very debilitating and there may even be depression that can lead to suicide. The severity of reaction really depends on the circumstances, how long it has been going on for, what the stakes are and how much power the bullier/s have over the victim/s. (I make no apologies for continually using the oblique slash singular/plural to remind the reader that there may be one or many on both sides.)
I have heard a lot of discussion and read several newspaper articles on the subject recently and it makes me cross when people talk about bullying in a trite and condescending manner. Many even go so far as to imply that the victim is a certain type of person who may even have a personality flaw or some other such problem. I am of the belief that the victim can be anyone given the right set of circumstances and I am also wondering if this might be the same for a bully as well. People can react in many ways when they are under stress or scared. If a person who had never bullied before is pressurised by a greater authority and has power over others, than they may well use bullying tactics to achieve the goal. One only has to look around us to see how this efficient method of supressing insurrection has worked for whole nations and races, but never has this method had a positive or good outcome in the long run.
So, if there is bullying in Gordon Brown's offices, then we would be trivialising the serious nature of this accusation by considering it up for debate. At the best of times bullying is very difficult to prove and one would have to know all the facts in order to give it the level of serious attention that it really deserves.
Monday, 22 February 2010
Monday, 15 February 2010
The Invisible Enemy
Eversince the swine flu scare, there has been an all out effort to raise public awareness on how infection spreads. This is not new info, it is the same as it ever was for all the viruses lurking out there. The problem is, I used to be a lot more laid back about the whole business but now I am far more mindful.
I have always known and have been taught by my folks since I was a wee little thing to cover my mouth and nose when sneezing and coughing and wash hands in soap and water. But the bit that is turning me into a cranky obsessive is this: if good old soap and water is not available then use one of the anti virul/bacterial gels that can be purchased as pocket sized for just in case. Now, wherever I am and whatever the situation, I have the power to combat germs.
The real problem is putting all of this info into perspective. My poor old hubby and son keep picking up cough and colds, they're onto their second bout this winter, and so far I haven't had anything. Now for me this is a bit unusual. Infact I would go so far to say as this is positively weird since it used to be me getting the flu bugs whereas the other two would resist. So there has been a bit of a twist of fate to my story.
And the big question is: has this been because I have been hand cleaning and my two men are less scrupulous? Well their hygiene habits have probably remained unchanged and yet they have had more infections than me recently but still I am not convinced.
My son takes public transport now and that is one difference to his life. Public transport is rife with germs. Another point is that my husband was seriously ill with a bacterial septicaemia a couple of years ago, and that has probably given his immune system a bit of a kicking and so he may be more vulnerable.
As for me, it would seem that the hand cleaning has worked but I have now swapped the occasional flu and cold virus for what could become an obsessive tendency which is quite literally following me around my home, especially with the other two coughing and sneezing wherever they go and me in their wake with the special spray. And it is wearing me out! Should I revert to my old laissez faire attitude for an easier life and risk the odd germ or would that be giving in? And if I do get a cold or flu, with all the hand washing, what would have been the point to all this obsessing about preventing it in the first place? Who can possibly tell one way or another? Just keep your hands away from your face maybe and then dirty hands won't matter - will they? Unless of course my dirty hands pass the bugs onto some other poor misfortunate, and then is that my fault or would it be there's? See what I mean?
I have always known and have been taught by my folks since I was a wee little thing to cover my mouth and nose when sneezing and coughing and wash hands in soap and water. But the bit that is turning me into a cranky obsessive is this: if good old soap and water is not available then use one of the anti virul/bacterial gels that can be purchased as pocket sized for just in case. Now, wherever I am and whatever the situation, I have the power to combat germs.
The real problem is putting all of this info into perspective. My poor old hubby and son keep picking up cough and colds, they're onto their second bout this winter, and so far I haven't had anything. Now for me this is a bit unusual. Infact I would go so far to say as this is positively weird since it used to be me getting the flu bugs whereas the other two would resist. So there has been a bit of a twist of fate to my story.
And the big question is: has this been because I have been hand cleaning and my two men are less scrupulous? Well their hygiene habits have probably remained unchanged and yet they have had more infections than me recently but still I am not convinced.
My son takes public transport now and that is one difference to his life. Public transport is rife with germs. Another point is that my husband was seriously ill with a bacterial septicaemia a couple of years ago, and that has probably given his immune system a bit of a kicking and so he may be more vulnerable.
As for me, it would seem that the hand cleaning has worked but I have now swapped the occasional flu and cold virus for what could become an obsessive tendency which is quite literally following me around my home, especially with the other two coughing and sneezing wherever they go and me in their wake with the special spray. And it is wearing me out! Should I revert to my old laissez faire attitude for an easier life and risk the odd germ or would that be giving in? And if I do get a cold or flu, with all the hand washing, what would have been the point to all this obsessing about preventing it in the first place? Who can possibly tell one way or another? Just keep your hands away from your face maybe and then dirty hands won't matter - will they? Unless of course my dirty hands pass the bugs onto some other poor misfortunate, and then is that my fault or would it be there's? See what I mean?
Monday, 8 February 2010
Gaudy 3D
Just to say that I did not like 'Avator' but really enjoyed Guy Ritchie's 'Sherlock Holmes' - what was there not to like?
'Avator' was my first 3D movie and I found the experience well, gaudy; unecessarily over the top. I've seen film that has transported me over the years to different worlds and I have found them totally captivating. I never forget the first 'Star Wars' movie and being enthralled. When I look back now of course, by today's standards the effects are lame, but back then they were not, I believed in them and that was without 3D.
I cannot equate with the visual effects for 'Avator', and this is not just because the story was shallow and lame. To begin, I kept wanting to take my 3D specs off out of curiousity to see what the film looked like without them. Not that different really, and this was a little dissapointing, not a real portal to another dimension after all, a bit of a sham I remember thinking. And one more thing, the 3D experience made me feel ever so slightly queasy, sort of vaguely travel sick.
And of course if I was more concerned about the specs and the cleverness of the cinematic effects, the real magic of being taken up by the film had not occurred. In other words I didn't believe it and I remained outside of the experience. I had not been transported like I was when I saw Sherlock Holmes.
Maybe it would be unfair to judge on the strength of just one film whether cinema will benefit using 3D effect. At the moment however, I find the specs just too disconcerting.
'Avator' was my first 3D movie and I found the experience well, gaudy; unecessarily over the top. I've seen film that has transported me over the years to different worlds and I have found them totally captivating. I never forget the first 'Star Wars' movie and being enthralled. When I look back now of course, by today's standards the effects are lame, but back then they were not, I believed in them and that was without 3D.
I cannot equate with the visual effects for 'Avator', and this is not just because the story was shallow and lame. To begin, I kept wanting to take my 3D specs off out of curiousity to see what the film looked like without them. Not that different really, and this was a little dissapointing, not a real portal to another dimension after all, a bit of a sham I remember thinking. And one more thing, the 3D experience made me feel ever so slightly queasy, sort of vaguely travel sick.
And of course if I was more concerned about the specs and the cleverness of the cinematic effects, the real magic of being taken up by the film had not occurred. In other words I didn't believe it and I remained outside of the experience. I had not been transported like I was when I saw Sherlock Holmes.
Maybe it would be unfair to judge on the strength of just one film whether cinema will benefit using 3D effect. At the moment however, I find the specs just too disconcerting.
Tuesday, 2 February 2010
Cut Out the Crap
At this time of year I notice that the pudge has began to show after the Christmas bingeing and I realise that it is time to pull in the reins.
I have a lot of friends who follow various diets that have been sanctified by the celebs and those organisations that set themselves up as being authorities. This is all well and good, but there is often a price for this expertise. At the very least it might involve buying in more expensive food stuffs that one wouldn't normally choose in the usual supermarket run, trying to juggle two types of meals in the evening with the family staunchly opposing soused mackrel and bean sprouts for a plate of ham and chips. At its most extreme there is all kinds of calorie or energy equivalent counting, lists of different food stuffs in various quantities that are and are not allowed, books, dvd's and packages, weight reducing evening classes and whatever other paraphanalia that goes with a 'special diet'.
I however seek to avoid all of this as I have realised over the years that the diet fads only make me more obsessed and I have often ended counting calories instead of sheep at night.
I keep my weight in check by following what I call a sensible eating code and this I have in place throughout my life as a way of life. Many people that I know do not believe that I ever had an excessive weight problem and even more strange, it surprises them when I confess that I did, although it is beyond me why I get this reaction. I am human like everyone else and there are many times when I eat junk food, such as at Christmas, hey days and holidays. I love chocolate and crisps, cakes and biscuits, but I cannot eat these to excess without putting on weight. The minute my weight starts to increase, I know that I have to cut out the crap and eat like I usually do. This stuff is after all meant to be a treat. And I do not need to weigh myself either to know if I am putting it on or off, I am aware within a few pounds either way by the look and feel of me and the way my clothes fit.
A long time ago, I retrained my appetite and body to appreciate the difference between being stuffed and being comfortably full. Boy did I have a lot to learn. When I became aware of this, my palate began to behave as well, and I had a moment of epiphany when I realised, for what seemed the very first time just how sweet a slice of unadorned bread was or a carrot for instance. It was a hard, self taught slog and for that reason alone I am proud that 35 years later I still remember my lesson. I do not like to preach and have kept these hard won facts to myself. Now however, I am willing to share the most important one: no diet, just cut out the food junk, we all know what that is.
I have a lot of friends who follow various diets that have been sanctified by the celebs and those organisations that set themselves up as being authorities. This is all well and good, but there is often a price for this expertise. At the very least it might involve buying in more expensive food stuffs that one wouldn't normally choose in the usual supermarket run, trying to juggle two types of meals in the evening with the family staunchly opposing soused mackrel and bean sprouts for a plate of ham and chips. At its most extreme there is all kinds of calorie or energy equivalent counting, lists of different food stuffs in various quantities that are and are not allowed, books, dvd's and packages, weight reducing evening classes and whatever other paraphanalia that goes with a 'special diet'.
I however seek to avoid all of this as I have realised over the years that the diet fads only make me more obsessed and I have often ended counting calories instead of sheep at night.
I keep my weight in check by following what I call a sensible eating code and this I have in place throughout my life as a way of life. Many people that I know do not believe that I ever had an excessive weight problem and even more strange, it surprises them when I confess that I did, although it is beyond me why I get this reaction. I am human like everyone else and there are many times when I eat junk food, such as at Christmas, hey days and holidays. I love chocolate and crisps, cakes and biscuits, but I cannot eat these to excess without putting on weight. The minute my weight starts to increase, I know that I have to cut out the crap and eat like I usually do. This stuff is after all meant to be a treat. And I do not need to weigh myself either to know if I am putting it on or off, I am aware within a few pounds either way by the look and feel of me and the way my clothes fit.
A long time ago, I retrained my appetite and body to appreciate the difference between being stuffed and being comfortably full. Boy did I have a lot to learn. When I became aware of this, my palate began to behave as well, and I had a moment of epiphany when I realised, for what seemed the very first time just how sweet a slice of unadorned bread was or a carrot for instance. It was a hard, self taught slog and for that reason alone I am proud that 35 years later I still remember my lesson. I do not like to preach and have kept these hard won facts to myself. Now however, I am willing to share the most important one: no diet, just cut out the food junk, we all know what that is.
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