Young Adult on the Cusp

Growing Pains
Just wondering if there is any information out there about parenting for young adults who are 'on the cusp' so to speak. I mean, suddenly they 'come of age' don't they. One day they're not and the next they are. One day you can legitimately have a little bit of a nosey around, check that all is ok, and the next, well, you can't, not easily anyway. Not if you're like us and not sure where you stand. (For 'us' and 'we' I am referring to me and husband.)

Don't get me wrong, we are really not that meddlesome as parents, but in the fairly recent past, we would have experienced problems if we hadn't been just a little bit inquisitive. Like, keeping an eye on attendance at college, making sure that the university application has been jogging along nicely, even checking out the bank balance to ensure that it didn't go into the red. Now though we are questioning whether we should or not; how much we should interfere or leave things to chance. And it's all very well some of you saying he - our son - must learn through his own mistakes, but we are inclined to bellow back 'not at our expense he's not going to.'

The Inbetweeny Parents
While we are helping towards his finance as he studies, we feel that he owes it to us to give us an update. On the other hand there isn't anyone out there who considers it to be our business any more. So, we feel like the 'inbetweeny parents' without a role in the eyes of the law I suppose, but feel that it isn't quite over yet.

One of the problems is that nowadays with the cost of doing a degree going up so very much, more and more students are opting to study from home to avoid living and travel expenses. I don't think that anyone has really looked at the impact that this may have on the parents, not only from the fiscal side of things, but from the emotional as well.

Headstrong Headlong ...
The old adage, 'what the eye doesn't see the heart won't grieve over' comes very much to mind here. Once upon a time 'on the cusps' might have done their final bit of growing up whilst studying well away from their parents. On home turf however, must we watch helplessly on the side lines? Knowing that there is an awful lot more that life is going to dish out to our off-spring as they quite rightly take risks, as apparently they are programmed to do according to some behavioural scientists, is like watching a horror movie. You know that the inevitable is going to happen but you can't intervene. So, we ask once again, if there is any advice on how to cope with this state of affairs, we would be most grateful.