The problem is that I know that I should be behaving in a grown up and responsible manner, acting my age and thinking sensibly about - oh - things, but I find that this is just not happening.
When I was young I used to believe that grown ups knew innately how to be sensible. Now I am discovering that this is simply not the case and I do not have an answer to help me out.
It's not that I do anything that is completely disasterous, or illegal, it's just that I still feel very young and not as confident as I thought I might be now that I'm - 'grown up'. Do others experience this I wonder, or do I go against the grain? Maybe there's something wrong with me? These questions sound like teenage angst only in reverse. There isn't a name for it is there? It can't be mid-life crisis as this just happens to men - doesn't it?
I keep thinking that if I ignore the problem it might go away. Every so often something makes me realise that it hasn't. Like when I know that it is essential to prepare for something in advance but I don't and I end up in a panic or late. Or when I have to make sure that I don't loose something that is really important, and I nearly always do. These are the things that I warn my adolescent son about, and yet I actually do not heed my own advice.
Maybe I should just resign myself to not really suiting old age after all and carry on taking comfort in the old adage that I am just young at heart.
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